Saturday 29 November 2003

Friday's Epic Journey

It feels like a journey of epic proportions. It started off at Centre Point where I had to go for the second time this week (having never been inside before ever) on the 9th floor at the Learning Skills Council. Great views of London and up above the rooftops where you can see the winter sun.

From there I travelled by bus to Old Street to wait for Bails in the Dragon Bar - one of our favourite haunts but not recently frequented due to our less frantic lifestyle (work does so get in the way). I sat waiting in the hot dark smoky bar on a stool internally congratulating the sullen barman on his ability to remain calm inspite of being the only member of staff working the after work friday shift (he kept ringing the person who was supposed to be with him with no joy for a good 40 minutes). He's one of those people who you can have an eyes only conversation with - a look says so much even if words never pass your lips. I spend my waiting time shared between trying to make him crack a smile and admiring the back-lit photograph picture (its the only place one of these hideous things looks any good).

So Bails arrives and we spend a couple of hours discussing the week that was, drinking and watching the world go by. Then we sauntered over to Islington to go into the Slag and Lettuce for one for the road. After lamenting the lack of talent in London anymore (no eye candy, no fun) we started on a game: the essence of which was to give marks out of 10 on looks and shaggability of passing men.

It was complicated - we drew up a scoresheet. We gave scores on both counts to men who were identified by the following descriptions: bushy hair, striped tie, rugby shirt, tall hoxton, red jacket, asymmetric hair, camel coat & plastic bag, pale blue jumper, cap, pink cheeks skatey, leather jacket, curly hair & fag, red sweatshirt, undercut jaw, spiky hair, long droopy hair, body warmer, sheepskin coat and openshirt. If we saw a straight 10 we had to go outside and introduce ourselves. The average score for Islington blokes' looks out on friday as marked by Bails was 4.4 with a shaggability of 2.3 out of 10. I don't think it would ever have happened before but I was grading more harshly and they came out with looks of 3.3 and shaggability of 2.1. Bails's top tottie of the evening was between Tall Hoxton and Openshirt. Mine would have to have been Striped Tie or Undercut Jaw. Sorry state of affairs.

Embarrassingly at the end of this we got found out by an American couple sitting next to us - the male of whom was very interested in our playing such a game. Oh the shame, how shallow can one seem after all... Having explained it to them they decided to join in. He started calling the chaps we had to consider, until we caught sight of a strange street scene - a blond woman who was on her way home from shopping was being pinned passionately against the railings by a man dressed all in denim. He was cuddling her and trying to kiss her. He was trying to persuade her to go for a drink with him. Our American friend decided he would pop out and try to help them out with their decision making in some way - she had been indecisive and he felt he could swing it for the guy. When he got out there it turned out she didn't know the bloke at all and was desperately trying to get away, so the American got a cab for her and off she went. What we couldn't quite figure out was why she let him get so wrapped around her before when she didn't even know him. These are the difficult situations encountered by women on nights out sometimes, hard to know the best course of action for the safest retreat.

So having not meant to stay for longer than one for the road we then found ourselves rather the worse for wear tripping round the corner to end the evening in the Living Room with a little late night music and dancing. And a cocktail. And a parting piece of advice - that if Bails wants to meet a man she needs to be a little easier with the marking...

Eventually after many many one-for-the-roads we finally got on a bus heading home.

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